Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Beginning of Transformation
"If the girl with RA wants a cookie, for God's sake give it to her..."
I know working out isn’t easy. Eating healthy isn’t easy either. Or at least that’s what I thought when I first started learning about the "whole food" movement. I couldn’t relate to all the “hippie dippies” out there promoting how eating raw food would make you healthy and this intuitive being or an amazing soul for the journey. I couldn’t relate, so I did what I could. More than anything I wanted to heal, to be better, and most of all be able to pick up my baby girl from her crib without hearing the crackling sound of firewood that was my shoulder bones rubbing together.
My feet felt like they had marbles in them. I could barely walk, and yet somehow each day I got out of bed hoping. Just hoping that that day would be better than the one before it. I didn’t make radical or amazing changes overnight. I watched documentaries, I read, and mostly I prayed for strength and guidance. I subscribed to “Natural Health” magazine and did what I could to “eat healthy” with what information I had prior to my Rheumatoid Arthritis diagnosis, but that usually meant, lean meats, and
vegetables, and then later because I wanted something sweet, some ice cream or a “treat” like a Starbucks latte or something like it. To me, these “treats” I deserved for being dealt a shitty hand. If the girl with RA wants a cookie for God sakes let her have it, is how I felt. Just plain sorry for myself. Depressed, but still looking for answers and finding so much love and support from my wonderful husband and Mom who both changed everything about their lives and schedules to be with me and my eldest daughter.
I felt like if I could just focus on being a Mom and look into my daughters eyes each day I’d be ok. Forget about me and everything else would be alright. While I wish I could have just eaten the ice cream and lived on love, unfortunately that routine quickly wore on my joints and the inflammation continued.
I was diagnosed with not only RA, but Interstitial Cystitis (I.C., a rare inflammatory bladder condition) and Fibromyalgia. This was my wake up call. Something had to change. I didn’t know how, but as I continued to read and put the pieces of my puzzle together, I saw an article in “Natural News” about Kris Carr. She was an amazing “CanSer Cowgirl” (spelled wrong to give it less power!) who at the ripe old age of 31 was diagnosed with some crazy hard core, stage IV cancer. She sought answers and learned how to stop the progress of her condition. THAT’S what I was looking for. Someone who had done what I was hoping to do. I guess my intuition was what kept me searching and still does to this day. And that’s how the saying goes “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” And if I wanted results like her in disease remission or at least stagnation, I would have to do what she had done. And what was that?
More to come in my next entry, as I continue to release parts of The Vegan with A Leather Purse.